my best effort

last night i was talking to a friend, and we were discussing how, for competitive people, it's sometimes easier to not do something at all than to do it decently. and i was thinking, that all originates from our sin and self-righteousness. i'd rather look good than have fun, because i'm trusting in myself to be happy. now in galatians i read chapter 4. in verse 2-3 it said
"but he (a slave/child) is under guardians and managers until the date set by his father/master. in the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to elementary principles of the world.
then in verse 5 it says how God sent His Son to be under the law and redeem those under the law and then...so that we might receive adoption as sons....!
this was incredible to be reminded of. i need to get over my elementary connections to the sin of the world, and start living as a son of God! if He can adopt us and set us up for the ultimate inheritance as heirs of the kingdom (verse 7) than the least i can do is trust in him. and have an awesome time doing my best and not being the best.


gabe

stinging sensation

i keep rubbing dirt in my wounds.

then they get worse.

then...they hurt more.





why do i keep rubbing dirt in my wounds?

you

you are near to me
you are my heart
you are love
you are perfect
you are caring
you are there for me
you are listening
you are answering

you can be close to me
you you can work through me
you can love me
you can fix me
you can take care of me
you can help me
you can hear me
you can answer me

you will draw me close
you will be in me
you will love me
you will fix me
you will protect me
you will be there
you will listen
you will answer

i will run to you
i will hide in your arms
i will feel your love
i will not be harmed
i will call to you
i will hear your reply
i will not be ashamed
i will be filled with joy

i will love you
you will love me
you can heal me

you are mine

provoking provocative thoughts

think about it,

what do YOU do when you're in a group that's praying.
i mean sure, you may be leaned forward, head down, fingers softly intwined in one another...that's not what i'm getting at.

what is your attitude...?
is it "c'mon hurry it up! i got places to be?"
maybe, "well that's dumb...you should've said this..."

but i think...I think, that probably the most common thought/action during prayer is thinking "what will I(me) pray?"

me me me. i i i. it's so selfish.
the last thing you should be doing when someone else is sharing their heart with God and you, is planning out the most impressive huge-word-filled speech you can. this person next to you is being raw. honest. and we can't muster up enough respect to LISTEN!

we're pathetic. I'M pathetic (i'm writing this out of remorse for my own actions)

basically what i'm trying to say is, just listen. pray along with the person. God doesn't want a speech, he wants a conversation.


who are we trying to impress? God? i hope not, man that's embarrassing.

are we trying to impress the guy next to us? why?! he's not gonna judge you for saying "um"

be real, be honest, be selfless and humble. me too

thanks


.gabriel.

pain or gain?

my hands are blistered,
my fingertips are cracking,
but still there seems to be a knack for which i am lacking.

try as i may,
it's all in dismay
yet this desire still will not go away.

why is it, though,
while i try so hard,
that the goal in sight seems still so far.

i can only guess,
why i've been dealt this card.
i still, still, still, still...can't play guitar.



.gabriel.

now i'm here. here i'll stay

sometimes...i drink out of custard bowls cuz it makes me feel like i'm in japan.

sometimes...i walk around the mall with a british accent cuz i wish i was british and people stare.

sometimes...i pretend i'm playing the piano or guitar for a huge audience because it makes me feel cool and successful.

everytime...that i think about what i have now, i'm happier than all of these things combined.

.gabriel.

college life...almost

dear college,
as you know, i've been going to you for almost a week now. you started off slow but i must say...you've picked up the pace quite well. although i'm still waiting to become fully acquainted with you, i feel our relationship will be as thick and beneficial as any. the joy you bring me by...introducing me to new students, or interesting classes is, unfortunately, unable to be described. but i believe that in the weeks and months to come, these already wonderful happenings will be embarrassed by the shear pleasure of greater things to come. i thank you for accepting me for who i am college, with no expectations or judgments. there are not many out there willing to do that. i thank you for your help, and wisdom, and willingness to accomodate my busy schedule. i look forward to the year ahead.
your humble and grateful student,
.gabriel.