stinging sensation

i keep rubbing dirt in my wounds.

then they get worse.

then...they hurt more.





why do i keep rubbing dirt in my wounds?

you

you are near to me
you are my heart
you are love
you are perfect
you are caring
you are there for me
you are listening
you are answering

you can be close to me
you you can work through me
you can love me
you can fix me
you can take care of me
you can help me
you can hear me
you can answer me

you will draw me close
you will be in me
you will love me
you will fix me
you will protect me
you will be there
you will listen
you will answer

i will run to you
i will hide in your arms
i will feel your love
i will not be harmed
i will call to you
i will hear your reply
i will not be ashamed
i will be filled with joy

i will love you
you will love me
you can heal me

you are mine

provoking provocative thoughts

think about it,

what do YOU do when you're in a group that's praying.
i mean sure, you may be leaned forward, head down, fingers softly intwined in one another...that's not what i'm getting at.

what is your attitude...?
is it "c'mon hurry it up! i got places to be?"
maybe, "well that's dumb...you should've said this..."

but i think...I think, that probably the most common thought/action during prayer is thinking "what will I(me) pray?"

me me me. i i i. it's so selfish.
the last thing you should be doing when someone else is sharing their heart with God and you, is planning out the most impressive huge-word-filled speech you can. this person next to you is being raw. honest. and we can't muster up enough respect to LISTEN!

we're pathetic. I'M pathetic (i'm writing this out of remorse for my own actions)

basically what i'm trying to say is, just listen. pray along with the person. God doesn't want a speech, he wants a conversation.


who are we trying to impress? God? i hope not, man that's embarrassing.

are we trying to impress the guy next to us? why?! he's not gonna judge you for saying "um"

be real, be honest, be selfless and humble. me too

thanks


.gabriel.

pain or gain?

my hands are blistered,
my fingertips are cracking,
but still there seems to be a knack for which i am lacking.

try as i may,
it's all in dismay
yet this desire still will not go away.

why is it, though,
while i try so hard,
that the goal in sight seems still so far.

i can only guess,
why i've been dealt this card.
i still, still, still, still...can't play guitar.



.gabriel.

now i'm here. here i'll stay

sometimes...i drink out of custard bowls cuz it makes me feel like i'm in japan.

sometimes...i walk around the mall with a british accent cuz i wish i was british and people stare.

sometimes...i pretend i'm playing the piano or guitar for a huge audience because it makes me feel cool and successful.

everytime...that i think about what i have now, i'm happier than all of these things combined.

.gabriel.

college life...almost

dear college,
as you know, i've been going to you for almost a week now. you started off slow but i must say...you've picked up the pace quite well. although i'm still waiting to become fully acquainted with you, i feel our relationship will be as thick and beneficial as any. the joy you bring me by...introducing me to new students, or interesting classes is, unfortunately, unable to be described. but i believe that in the weeks and months to come, these already wonderful happenings will be embarrassed by the shear pleasure of greater things to come. i thank you for accepting me for who i am college, with no expectations or judgments. there are not many out there willing to do that. i thank you for your help, and wisdom, and willingness to accomodate my busy schedule. i look forward to the year ahead.
your humble and grateful student,
.gabriel.

...the thought i cant get rid of...

pfffff

lately i've been unable to rid myself of this thought, or series of thoughts.
and that is...NOTHING we do, without exception, nothing we want or think about, is deserved. and this has been pulling on my heart lately.
ive been feeling frustrated or cheated by my life and it's happenings, and i've realized...so what?!

if every moment is a gift. who are we to complain about ANY moment?
in youth group for example, and rock the river, i have been feeling frustrated about how monotonous the announcements are seeming to be come, and how broken record like they seem to sound. but it's such a good message and ministry, i feel like stupid's stupider younger brother.

the moment i laid back and let Christ lead me, i all of a sudden was talking to a friend from work who's interested in church and christianity, and now, i'm going to this incredible christian concert with him.

so from experience...i want to encourage anyone and everyone who reads this (i don't care if you do cuz it makes me feel better) to realize everything you have, was not gained by merit or right. it was a gift from our sovereign savior, and THAT, is something to cherish.

thanks




.gabriel.